If I could turn back time…

 

I wouldn’t change much. Maybe skip eating all of those helpings of pasta and spending my money as soon as I had it.

I feel pretty confident in the life I’ve made so far. I have a car, a job, friends who are there for me, family, and I’m getting a college education. I don’t to turn back time I just need to learn what to do with what I have left.

I waste time more than I should. I surf the web not knowing what I’m looking for, sure that’s the reason most of the time, and that causes me to slack off in things I should be doing, like studying or reading, or sleeping.

Time is precious and I think I’m just starting to realize that which is sad. 20 years down the drain and I’m not sure if I ever appreciated time as much as I do now.

Live for the moment sure, but don’t live for your moment of Twitter feuds and Facebook drama. Live for the moment of today, breathing, looking at the sky and how wonderful it is. Take into consideration of someone else’s day and how you can make an impact on them.

A goal of mine for 2016 is to be more volunteering. I love people, I love helping them, working with them. I’m going to have at least 100 hours of service to end this year.

Don’t think about turning back time, think about how you can make the rest of yours more meaningful.

Inspiration Train – Going, Going, Gone!

Am I the only one that gets super motivated for a while and then it turns to mush within a day? I love working on my career and learning new things and writing and planning but sometimes I get over the high that I feel when I’m working on something I love. It’s stinks and it makes me not want to do anything. Like right now, I’m working on my blog and researching PR tactics and conferences to go to next year. I’m having a blast, I’m feeling motivated that this is the career path I want and that I will live the life my parents want me to (I say that because they always tell me to not live the life they have because it sucks; they work because they have to and they don’t necessarily enjoy). I want to be able to do anything I want (duh, who doesn’t?) and I want to be able to help people and to prove people wrong and to show the world who I am and what I am capable of. I’m excited for my future. It will be bright and full of people who I love and we’ll be going on adventures non-stop and I’ll be living life to the fullest (my head is in the clouds and I like it up here so leave me alone).

I say all of this and it amps me up. I get excited and it makes me want to work harder but eventually I hit a wall and it’s hard to overcome.

Fear. That is my wall. The fear of change, the fear of failure. I don’t like failing and my outlook on change depends on if its good or bad. I’m working on climbing that wall and breaking it. I don’t like when fear creeps in my head and ruins my chance of greatness. I could accomplish a ton more if I overcome my fear of life.

So that’s my New Year’s Resolution: conquering (or at least working on breaking) my fear wall. It will be difficult but as long as I’m sure of what I want to do when I “grow up” then I’ll be fine and I’ll start living the life I actually want.

What are your resolutions?

See you on the other side!

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#maddywritesabunchIn2016

“I don’t want to go to work”

Do you know how many times I say that to myself on a daily basis? A lot. I only work 2 days a week, not even 20 hours and I dread going to work. It makes me anxious about getting enough sleep and being able to wake up for class the next morning because I work until 1:30am.

I never realize how lucky I am for the job that I have and for what it has done for me. I also never realize that the main reason I have a job isn’t to provide for myself and sustain my life, it is so I can have fun, eat out with my friends, go shopping and indulge myself with the “finer” things in life.

That isn’t a bad thing. I work for what I want. My parents are teaching me a lesson that I am already starting to be grateful for: save money. I’m not used to this simple concept. I range from <$300 to $6 in my bank account. I never have anymore than that because I’m a sophomore in college that can’t save money to help save myself from a world of hurt when I’m older. It’s gross how much I spend.

So yeah, I really don’t want to go to work but once I’m there I’m great. I’m a cashier at a convenience store on my campus and I love it. I meet so many people and I enjoy what I do for the most part. But since it’s so late at night (I work 9p-1:30a) of course I get delusional from lack of sleep (it doesn’t help that I have an 8:30a lab that morning as well). Things become funny and things that suck suck more. Like if a customer has a bad attitude it affects me and I don’t like it because my job is to be happy and to be positive for the customers. It just sucks. That and the fact that my feet hurt a lot from just standing behind a counter for 4 hours is the only reason I don’t actually like my job.

I could probably quit and be happy, I wouldn’t have as much structure in my schedule because I’d have more free time that I would spend on Netflix and sleeping but then I also wouldn’t have any income and I wouldn’t be able to pay for gas to go on midnight drives or even make it home for the weekend.

As much as I hate the thought of a job I need one. It helps keep my schedule intact and it gives me an income that I worked for and can spend on anything. It helps me feel independent and that I can actually live on my own.

You may say to yourself how much you hate your job and that you “don’t want to go to work” but trust me you wouldn’t be working if you didn’t have something you were working for.

Always look for the brighter side of things. Start saving half of your paycheck now and maybe you can quit and live comfortably for the rest of your life in 30 years. I dunno. But you have goals and things you want and people you need to take care of (i.e. yourself). Your job, no matter how terrible, is there to help you attain those goals and help you live a life worth living. You just have to be thankful for whatever income you have.

If this made sense, great minds think alike, if it didn’t, I’m sorry – I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about how much I don’t want to go to work tonight and I thought I’d write about it.